**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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