therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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