glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
