Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Randomize
