Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
