This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
