i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
