Sry I called you an 8
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
