I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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