Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
