Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize