Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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