can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am available for nakedness
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize