I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We left an ass print on the piano.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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