Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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