She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
