When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
