come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
