who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
