No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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