she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
