And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
