ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
