I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Randomize
