So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
