I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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