I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
