I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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