I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
