I don't think brook has ever known best
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
