just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
