I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
