Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
