Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
