Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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