so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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