If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
