dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
