i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize