I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
