Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
is it fun? or sober?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
