I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize