There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My feet surprised me
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