i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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