I got chris browned last night
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
3 2 1 whiskey
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
