She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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