At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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