did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
