hotel room ftw
we have pet lesbian snakes
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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