Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Never joke about your clitoris.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
