New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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