the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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