I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
