Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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