My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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