Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
did i just pee glitter
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
